She followed the official back into his room. She stared at him. Then she would have quiet times, in which she would say to herself, “Now look here! Let me think it all out!” For the first time, it seemed to her, she faced the facts of a woman’s position in the world—the meagre realities of such freedom as it permitted her, the almost unavoidable obligation to some individual man under which she must labor for even a foothold in the world. The government was not deceived (indeed, every opportunity was sought by the Jacobites of parading their numbers,) as to the force of its enemies; and precautionary measures were taken to defeat their designs. An acute sense of living was in her veins, even the taste of her wine seemed magical. The place to which you went was not the English Embassy, and the whole performance was a fraud. Her pa was only the smithy. O'Higgins know the truth; he wouldn't be reckless with the funds, then. . It has become a part of the order of my life. Only I wish—I wish to-day I was a thousand times, ten thousand times more beautiful. But to draw the attention of the milice, no, that is not at all desirable.
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