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I know I am undeserving of your bounty; but if I were to tell you what hardships I have undergone—to what frightful extremities I have been reduced—and to what infamy I have submitted, to earn a scanty subsistence for this child's sake, —if you could feel what it is to stand alone in the world as I do, bereft of all who have ever loved me, and shunned by all who have ever known me, except the worthless and the wretched,—if you knew (and Heaven grant you may be spared the knowledge!) how much affliction sharpens love, and how much more dear to me my child has become for every sacrifice I have made for him,—if you were told all this, you would, I am sure, pity rather than reproach me, because I cannot at once consent to a separation, which I feel would break my heart. I want to be your knight, your servant, your protector, your—I dare scarcely write the word—your husband. I’ve been thinking, you know—I’m not sure that primarily the perception of beauty isn’t just intensity of feeling free from pain; intensity of perception without any tissue destruction. It was his turn to express astonishment. The contest was now carried on between Rowland and Darrell. After all, it is not long since that a Catholic nun in this country would have had to remain in hiding. “But, how,” he said, sitting up astonished beyond measure, “not go on?” “I have been thinking while you have been talking. You’re tired, of course. ‘Of course I see that,’ she said impatiently. I have a certain standing not only as a singer but as a critic, and I belong to one of the most brilliant causerie dinner clubs of the day, in which successful Bohemianism, politicians, men of affairs, artists, sculptors, and cultivated noblemen generally, mingle together in the easiest and most delightful intercourse. "Ireton, as you captured him, the reward is yours.
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