” “Nothing that one wants. Sheppard prepared for church. ” She gave herself permission now to look at this squarely. “I must read him when I come out. If you knew your aunt were alive, if she expected you, that would be different. The door to the library burst open. I know I am undeserving of your bounty; but if I were to tell you what hardships I have undergone—to what frightful extremities I have been reduced—and to what infamy I have submitted, to earn a scanty subsistence for this child's sake, —if you could feel what it is to stand alone in the world as I do, bereft of all who have ever loved me, and shunned by all who have ever known me, except the worthless and the wretched,—if you knew (and Heaven grant you may be spared the knowledge!) how much affliction sharpens love, and how much more dear to me my child has become for every sacrifice I have made for him,—if you were told all this, you would, I am sure, pity rather than reproach me, because I cannot at once consent to a separation, which I feel would break my heart. DeSoto, seemed to notice her thoroughly. Remember, some day you and I are going to have that book. These sweeping dignities were not within the compass of her will; she remembered she liked Ramage, and owed things to him, and she was interested—she was profoundly interested. ‘I do not see at all. For a nun at night it is less dangerous than for the jeune demoiselle.
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